Warning: the series deals with topics (including harassment and sexual abuse) which some viewers might find disturbing, therefore we advise you to watch it and read the article at your own discretion.
The Plot
The protagonist, Donny Dunn (Richard Gadd) has been working as a bartender at a pub in London, when a melancholic woman, Martha Scott (Jessica Gunning) steps inside. Donny feels sorry for the lovely lady and offers her a cup of tea to cheer her up. When Martha becomes even more devastated, as she claims that she cannot afford the tea, Donny pays for it – and this innocent gift triggers an avalanche that Donny did not ever think could happen.
Martha becomes a regular at the pub. She shows up every day at the same time, and her smile brings colour to Donny’s desperate life. After all, his life is quite bland: he still lives with his ex-girlfriend’s mom and he does not have any real friends. He tries stand-up, but he turns out to be terrible as a comedian and full of repressed traumas. Therefore, when Martha shows affection and love towards him, Donny does not push her away but rather feeds on her feelings, which step-by-step become indicative of harassment.
However, by the time Donny realises that Martha has become obsessed, it is already too late. Hundreds of Facebook messages every day (he even gets the “baby reindeer” nickname, this is where the title of the series comes from), voice messages, public shaming, stalking; then regretful apologies – and the vicious circle starts all over again. Donny’s ex, Keeley (Shalom Brune-Franklin), his girlfriend and therapist Teri (Nava Mau), and his parents (Amanda Root and Mark Lewis Jones) cannot escape from Martha’s craze either
After six months, the harassment suddenly stops. It seemed like a never-ending war, and even though the police were not on Donny’s side, they managed to get a restraining order against Martha. So, it is a happy ending. Or is it?
A Victim of Traumatic Events
A few years before Martha’s appearance, Donny survived a traumatic experience at a Scottish art festival, where he performed as a comedian. A famous scriptwriter, Darrien O’Connor (Tom Goodman-Hill) – who, like Martha, was inspired by a real person – manipulated Donny. He looked up to Darrien, respected him, and he believed that the scriptwriter’s recognition could open the door to a famous career. But Donny could not be more wrong. Darrien made him work through nights without any rest, he had to rewrite the scriptwriter’s drafts countless times, and then he took advantage of Donny in his most vulnerable state.
This trauma that Donny has suffered later affects his friendship with Martha. Although he considered going to the police earlier, since Darrien did not face consequences for his actions – even though he was far more destructive than Martha –, Donny felt that it would be unfair to take Martha’s case to court. Because of this decision, many viewers might see Donny as an indecisive and incompetent person, and his pessimistic retrospective narration throughout the series does not help to portray him in the best light either. Still, despite all his unfortunate characteristics and decisions, we cannot help but like him. Donny is, after all, a kind, good-hearted, likeable person who the viewers simply cannot hate. Behind every one of his seemingly cowardly actions, there is a young man who just wants to be loved and recognised.
‘Boys don’t cry’
It is not simply arbitrary that the protagonist of the series is a man. On the one hand, Gadd has brought his own life to the screen, which is why he chose a male character specifically, but on the other hand, the series portrays men from a different perspective from what we are accustomed to. Rather than creating a stereotypically strong man, Gadd presents Donny as a vulnerable character, who has a hard time dealing with his emotions and accepting himself, as the traumas he suffered from changed him forever. While he searches for his identity, he goes through a wide range of emotions: he is not afraid to laugh, cry, and feel anger. He learns how to express his emotions and mental struggles and recognises that men in our society often suppress their feelings because they have been taught that “boys don’t cry”. Men can also be victims of abuse and other types of violence, and they often receive less attention than women because of societal stereotypes and customs.
We recommend this series to those who want to understand how a traumatised person might think about the world, including the dilemmas and emotions they are bound to feel. Moreover, if you have been suffering from a trauma and would like a safe place where you can feel seen, heard, and understood, then Baby Reindeer is for you.
